Post No. 39

It's my birthday today. and I am turning 20 this year. a big leap.19 to 20.

Birthdays are important to me no matter what most people around tells me.
'it's only birthdays, you'll have it every year, no big deal.'
It might be just another day to you, its a big day for me.
and for the record. please DO NOT say that line to me ever again.


It's a day where it's all about the birthday boy/girl. its a day where you get all the attention (most of it anyway). its a day when people you haven't spoke to for three million years speaks to you. it's a day where you'll see who are the ones that really cared and loved you. its a day for many wonderful things.

birthdays. you wait 364 days just for that one day. that one day when it is all about you.

I cared a lot for birthdays. If I love you enough I'll waste all my thoughts on you just to give you the best. I'll make an effort.

I get disappointed a lot I admit. I have the wildest imaginations and the highest expectation. often to find myself dreaming for the impossible. often to find myself dropped to ground zero. often asking myself why am I emo-ing when I can still still make the best of it, by myself.

A lot of people say that I need to learn. learn to be humble. learn to not make a big deal out of things. learn to give but not expecting a return.
I don't expect. I anticipate. I wish. I hope. there will be a return.

Post No. 38

便利帖子。我想我应该也是一个吧。
想用的时候，真的很好用。不想看到她的时候，一撕就脱手，没有值得留念的价值。


我不想当便利贴子。我想在你的心目中有一个固定的位子，一个你时时刻刻都重视的角色。

但，有可能吗？


傻瓜。别做梦了。自己的空虚，自己添补。再大的渴望只会带来再大失望。与其等别人的付出不如自己加油。
我自己靠自己。

Post No. 37

First semester is officially over for me :)

after 2 weeks of slaving and lack of sleep, tonight will be nice to have a good good rest.

I have a feeling that I pretty much screwed up this semester. it would be a miracle if I can pull through statistic this sem. I actually quite enjoy doing stats. its maths, its fun. I guess I just didnt put myself into it. Still I hope I did enough to pass. Next sem, I need to pull my socks up, and be the high distinction student that I want to be. Mediocrity is just so. not going to cut it. I want to be more than that. 

    *    *    *

Can you believe that I'm turning 20 in 4 days. Unbelievable. I'm saying goodbye to my teen days. I've always reckoned being a teen is the best stage in life. Sure. most of you will have some friction with your parents during that period. but thats just part of it. part of what makes you learn. being a teenager. is being carefree. being stupid. being reckless. being emotion. mixing all these in a massive blender and you get one hell of a life. 

still. it bugs me. that I am going to 20 in 4 days. 

*   *   *

I have no idea what kind of spontaneous act hit me yesterday. I just bought a ticket for me and my brother back to KL. just like that. guess I be home in 6 months. can't wait. missed it too much :)

Post No. 36

another Malaysian production. yes. I am suddenly gaga over all things Malaysian.

seems interesting. the male lead is kinda cute I reckon. the female lead is pretty too. 

but mostly I'm more into the background, the cultural reflection. 

Have any one seen it?

Post No. 35

I made friends with the tissue box for the past two days. we were almost inseparable.

being sick is the most horrible feeling. your whole body just doesnt feel right.
nose is block and running. head is pounding. throat is burning and sore. gulping down bottles after bottles of water until you can't take it anymore. wondering if you'll get better when you wake up from bed the next morning. in my case prolly the afternoons.



marketing and statistics left to go. oh god. simply just cant wait for the week to be over. then its party time!