Post No. 91

Sometimes I wonder if it's wrong to plan and anticipate too obsessively. I like planning. Writing down list after list of grocery to shop, things to do, places to visit, people to see. Planning is like putting my life in front of my eyes, I can see the way it is heading or even determine how do I get to the position that I want it to go. Planning also brings anticipation. When you take the time to determine the next step of life, you expect it to happen that way. I'd like to think I am a person that likes, or even love surprises, but I guess in truth, I spent too much time anticipating to surprise, and the surprise turned out to be a let down. At this point, I resemble myself to Blair Waldorf. Like her, I like to take care of every single detail of everything. Everything has to be perfect. To have perfection, there has to be control. But when control gets out of hand, it turns into an obsession. I think that's what I have become, an obsessive monster.

Post No. 90

I'm guessing by now most of the people in Malaysia would have known about this Alviss Kong incident that cause quite a stir on Facebook and the news.

And yes. It's 4am and my brother's birthday and I am supposed to get some sleep early cuz hafta get a cake from the city tomorrow morning.

It shows how pissed off I am with this incident for me to stay up and write about it so that I can share my two cents worth of opinion.

Long story short. Alviss Kong, 22 years old decided to take his own life after breaking up with his second girlfriend of 4 months. Prior to his suicide mission, he wrote a long farewell note, devoting his last words to his second ex-girlfriend. He also told everyone his ex was not to blame for his action. His actions was merely to give himself some peace and closure, as he find nothing worthy for him in this world. More detailed news cover here and here.


what I think about this.

I do not fault his girlfriend in this incident. I do not know them personally so I am not in the position to judge what has been going on in their relationship. He took his own life. His girlfriend did not stand by him and encouraged him to jump. Obviously after getting out a relationship, there will be an emotional turmoil going on inside you. You let yourself go for a bit because you want to get those negativity out of your system as soon as possible, then pick yourself up and go on with life. Life is too short to keep dwelling on a petty four month relationship that has no way of turning back. He failed to do that and succumbed to his emotions.

He whole world was blinded. The only thing that he sees is his girlfriend, who she is everything that matters. So when his girlfriend break things off, to him, his world was taken away from him. I personally, do not feel any empathy for him, not one bit. To do what he has done is a very selfish act. The only people I feel sorry for are his parents and family. 22 years of hard work raising, educating and feeding this man, he ended up throwing his life away just because there is a hiccup in his love life. You leave this world, but you left your mess behind for the people who cares about you. You maybe resting in your coffin now, nothing to worry about. But have you ever thought about your parents, your sister, your family, your friends? How much tears and heartache for your stupidity? And the emotional scars you leave behind.

You decide to be a coward and run. But you have no idea of the damage you leave behind.

Post No. 89

I am so angry.


Biggest mistake I made was taking two weeks off work to concentrate on my exam. Two weeks later I called in to inform my managers that I am ready and available for work. Needed the money desperately since I have so many plans going on.

And I've waited. Weeks after weeks. this is the third week now. and I am leaving for home in 12 days wtf. My account balance is dipping low since I've been using my own money for food and outings for the past month. Paiseh asking parents for money. It is surprising how fast money can be spent. Super kanjiong now.

My two weeks off have resulted my shift to be given away to someone else. Not to mention I have called bout 5 times reminding then to roster me shifts. Finally scored one on Wednesday. But fuck I need more.

Please please please. I really hope I be rostered from Wednesday until the day I leave. If not. I'm screwed. No freaking shit.

Post No. 88

So I'll be back home in exactly two weeks time, and I am really excited of what to do with my hair.

yeah. so I only get to visit my hairdresser almost once every year, as I do not really like the hairdressers down here. bloody expensive I'd say.

I'm kinda bored with my hair now, sticking to the same mediocre long layered look. I need a change, something drastically different. No I am not gonna shave my head if that's what you are suggesting.

I never colored or dyed my hair before, still got virgin hair lolxx. I've always got intimidated by the idea that if you start coloring you hair, you can never stop. For a good dye job, a visit to the salon is a must, not to mention the cost that come along with it. DIY kits is an option, but it just never really look as good in terms of color. And I also hate roots showing between dye jobs. They are just plain ugly. Not to mention, some coloring jobs will turn brassy because hair just get to damaged.

Still, having said that, I'm still looking for coloring techniques that is fuss-free. the one I'm thinking of doing is Ombre hair, seen on likes of Camila Alves, Alexa Chung, and Rachel Bilson. *(I feel like I am contradicting myself cuz ombre hair does look like hair between dye jobs. But done properly I'm sure it'll look good)

Good no?

I'm wondering if ombre hair goes well with short bobs. 

Post No. 87

Holla December! the best month of the year, don't you agree?


So much to look forward to on this month,
I am going home in 18 days, Christmas is in 24 days, lots of holiday food, meeting up with friends, and all the sorts. OMGosh. can't wait till I step foot in KL.